Brazilian aardvark.
Funny phrase to describe a coatimundi, isn't it?
That's how my favorite little critter's being described in the UK right now. Especially in a little place called Cumbria.
According to several local news sources, a group of about ten coati have set up camp somewhere in the vicinity of Cumbria and it's a possibility that those ten may multiply. After reading about the hilarious antics of a coati threatening townsfolk long ago (hilarious because I could only imagine the shenanigans that coatis pull on occasion), this could be another incident much in the same vein as what was referred to as the Peel Street Monster from so long ago.
What the hell am I talking about? Read on.
I've read through several accounts of the 'Cumbrian Coatis' or 'Brazilian Aardvarks of Cumbria' and almost all of them seem like a game of telephone only instead of a group of the obvious demographic that regularly partakes of the game with giggles in the sandbox at recess the players are individuals who refer to themselves as journalists. Not everything comes up on the first page of a search, people.
From the research that yours truly has done, it appears that the coatimundi who're living in Cumbria started appearing way back in 2004 when a couple out for a walk reported spotting one. According to a report by Natural England’s Wildlife Management & Licensing Team, one was found that same year and appears to have been destroyed at that time.
Since that time, reports of a group of ten coati keeps circulating. Recently the story was brought to light again. Either it was a slow news day or it helped ease the pain of Cumbrians who'd just suffered through horrendous flooding and a terrible, tax-induced shooting spree by some idiot.
Currently the Cumbrian Coati are like little furry ghosts that are quietly fluttering about in the UK (the link to the left mentions that a zoo contains 27 coatis. After checking out the website for that zoo, coatimundis are not listed as being part of their animals. Sidenote - If ANY zoo in the world has 27 coati? Stay away...the coatis are planning something) Part of me laughs that these little monsters have once again popped up in the media for causing alarm amongst modern civilization. Another part of me is secretly excited and hopes that some actual research will take place so that we can learn more about the troupe of 'Brazilian Aardvarks' that may or not be slowly building an army of snack-snatching marauders in the English country-side.
Dear Cumbrians:
What ever you do should you catch site of one of these creatures? RUN. Run as fast as your desire to live will carry you!
Why? Because according to one eyewitness and media source the Cumbrian Coati is a meat-eating, three-foot-long animal the size of a labrador retriever!
Sleep tight, Cumbrians and remember Peel Street.
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